Coming to Terms
by Jedi Jesi Jiin
Summary: Luke Skywalker comes to terms with the revelation that Darth Vader is so much more than just a Sith Lord...
1. Chapter 1 Denial

**Coming to Terms**

_**A/N 1:**__ This story begins after Empire Strikes Back, and follows closely the events of Return of the Jedi. It's intended to do this so that we can follow the story more from Luke's point of view._

_**A/N 2:**__ All Star Wars characters/places/etc… belong to Lucasfilm. _

**Chapter One: Denial**

_**A/N: **__(Luke's dream is a replay of and from Empire Strikes Back)_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_He brought his blade up to fend off the increasingly strong blows Darth Vader's crimson lightsaber kept sending his way. Vader had him retreating, and fumbling, fighting no longer for Leia and Han, but for sheer survival. _

_He deflected another blow and grappled with the Dark Lord before the Sith pushed him back. He stumbled, falling onto a flight of three stairs. He backed away as Vader put the tip of his blade to his throat._

"_You are beaten! It is useless to resist!" Vader declared. _

Luke Skywalker stirred fitfully in his sleep.

_He gritted his teeth defiantly and swatted the red blade away anyway. He managed to scramble to his feet, but the Dark Lord was relentless now. Luke fought like a caged animal, striking wherever he could just to get the threatening figure away. _

_Luke ducked a vicious sideswipe and managed to get inside Vader's defense. His blue blade struck the Dark Lord on the arm. Vader howled in pain, grasping his arm for a second. Then he let loose a thundering growl and hurled his lightsaber at the younger man._

_True fear took him for a second, and he stepped out precariously onto a tiny ledge, ducking another powerful and angry blow. Machinery was cut in half like a piece of fruit, and Luke reached out with his blade to fend off the Dark Lord once more. _

_Vader twirled his blade expertly and before he knew what had happened, his hand and wrist were falling down the cavernous shaft. He was so shocked that for a moment he didn't realize he was screaming._

Luke unconsciously grabbed at his arm, moaning loudly, unaware that sweat poured down his face.

"_Luke, you do not yet realize your importance!" Vader said to Luke's retreating form. "Join me! I will complete your training, and we can bring order to the galaxy!"_

"_I'll never join you!"_

"_If you only knew the power of the Dark Side!" Vader continued. "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your Father…"_

"_He told me enough!" Luke said through his agony. "He told me you killed him!"_

"_No." Vader said, almost reverently. "_I_ am your Father!"_

_Luke's eyes bugged as the implications of such a thing hit him. He shook his head, willing this to be a horrible joke on the Dark Lord's part._

"_No… no!" Luke moaned in shocked disbelief. "That's not true! That's impossible!"_

Luke grabbed his covers subconsciously; pulling them closer around him as if they could protect him from what he knew was coming.

"_Search your feelings; you _know_ it to be true!" Vader insisted._

_Luke felt something deep within him confirm the Dark Lord's declaration and he hollered._

"_NO… NO!"_

Luke bolted upright in bed, breathing frantically, his blanket still clasped in a white-knuckled grip. His entire frame was soaked with a cold sweat, making him shiver in the already cool room.

He looked around quickly, orienting himself. He was in his room aboard one of the Rebel Alliance's medical frigates, and at the moment, Luke was exceedingly glad he didn't yet have a bunk-mate. He looked down at his new right hand, and felt a phantom pain as his body remembered the loss of the limb.

He closed his eyes and sought to calm his breathing as Master Yoda had been teaching him to do.

_Master Yoda… Ben._

Luke lay back down, placing his real left hand to his forehead, reiterating aloud something that he'd been asking for a few days now.

"Ben… why didn't you tell me?"

Luke blew out a frustrated sigh, and got out of his cot. He stripped out of his soaked night clothes and dressed into something more comfortable. He looked down at his usual earthy toned garb, wondering if this color were appropriate for his circumstances.

With another sigh, Luke opened the door to his room and left. He caught sight of a chrono on the wall and realized it was the dead of the night. Not wanting to disturb anyone, Luke headed for a quiet corner of the frigate.

He found himself in one of the cargo-holds, and retreated to a dark corner, seeking the solitude he desperately needed. Luke leaned forward and pressed his head to the cool metal of the wall.

Darth Vader, Sith Lord, and right-hand man to the Emperor, was Luke Skywalker's father.

Luke knew that his Force-sense had confirmed what the man had told him, but at the time, Luke had been in survival mode. Now that he had more quiet time to think, Luke simply did not want to accept the truth.

_All my life, for as long as I can remember at least, I've wanted to know my Father._ Luke thought bitterly. _I had this great, heroic picture of him in my mind's eye…_

_And now I learn that what I thought I knew of my father was all just a fairy tale._

Luke pounded an angry fist against the wall.

_No. No this isn't true. I was just under a lot of stress, too much pressure. This isn't real. My Father was an honorable man, a Jedi, not… not this MONSTER!_

Luke pounded the wall again, and, not getting a sufficient reaction from the unyielding durasteel wall, he turned and unleashed his fury on the stack of crates behind him.

**00000**

Leia Organa woke with a start. She rubbed her eyes groggily, wondering what had awakened her. She looked fuzzily around her room, and saw that nothing was out of place.

She lay back down, satisfied, and ready to fall asleep once more when her comlink beeped urgently. Leia let loose a tired growl, but fumbled for the blinking red light beside her bed.

"Organa." She answered it tiredly.

"Princess Leia, forgive the late hour." Said the gravelly voice of a Mon Calamari. "But you need to get down here right away."

"What?" Leia asked in confusion, coming more awake. "Come down where, and why?"

"It's Commander Skywalker, Ma'am. He seems to be… well, in some sort of trouble." The gravelly voice sounded disturbed, as if whatever was wrong with Luke was a first time occurrence. "We are in cargo bay 3."

Leia came fully awake at the mention of Luke's name, and as she pulled on a more modest outfit, she began to remember what had caused her to wake initially. She did not understand how she knew it, but something, or someone was radiating a deep, pain-filled anger.

Leia raced through the bowels of the ship, wondering vaguely why more of the crew wasn't reacting to an incident that required her personal attention. She came to the door of the cargo hold, and found three guards clustered around it, all looking deeply anxious, and even a bit frightened.

"Let me through please." She said in a commanding tone.

"Princess Leia, I don't think that's advisable." The middle guard said in a hesitant tone. "I'm not sure if it's… err, safe."

Leia frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's okay, gentlemen, I asked for her to come." Said the gravelly voice from the comlink transmission.

The three guards reluctantly stepped aside to let Leia pass, and she saw the familiar figure of Admiral Ackbar. He waved her forward, and Leia walked with him until they were deeper into the hold.

Then she froze.

Near the back wall, crates that had once been neatly stacked were in ruins, their contents lying strewn all around in a disorderly fashion as though someone had hurled them about. The crates themselves were splintered and broken, creating a dangerous pile of sharp edges and twisted metal bracings.

And slumped forlornly in the middle of that unruly mess was Luke. He was on his knees, and leaning over, his head resting in the crooks of his elbows as his arms extended up and out. His left hand trembled slightly, and his knuckles were bruised and bloodied. By contrast, his artificial right hand seemed almost intact, with the exception of a few torn pieces of false skin.

Leia felt her heart wrench when Luke's shoulders shook with silent sobs.

"I didn't want to make a scene, Princess." Ackbar said quietly. "I know he is still adjusting to his injury, and I think he just needs a friend."

Leia offered Ackbar an appreciative smile. "Thank you Admiral. Would you keep this under wraps for me, please?"

He nodded. "Of course. No need to ask."

Leia watched as the Mon Calamari retreated to give orders to the waiting guards. When he was out of earshot, she returned her attention to Luke. She stood frozen in indecision for a long moment, watching as Luke battled something Leia knew to be more than just the loss of his hand.

Something else had happened on Bespin. She recalled how Luke had suddenly appeared in the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_ with a dazed, unfocused look. She hadn't paid it much mind at the time due to the heated escape attempt.

When Luke turned his head slightly and caught sight of her, she moved forward. Kneeling beside him, she placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled him close. He resisted for a brief moment, as if afraid, and then Luke allowed her to hold him.

She sat with him as he continued to weep, silently offering her support and love.

After a moment, Luke stirred and sat up. His eyes were bloodshot as though he hadn't slept since they'd arrived on the ship. And now they were red and wet. His disheveled hair fell into his face a little, but he ignored it.

"Luke, what's wrong?" Leia asked, feeling a little foolish that she could think of nothing else to say.

But then again, she had never seen her friend this upset. The carnage around her was unsettling.

He looked at his hands, focusing more on the artificial one.

"Leia…" he began in a hoarse whisper. His eyes never left his hand as he continued gingerly. "Do… do you think children are… defined by…" he swallowed very hard. "By their parents?"

"Of course not!" Leia said quickly. Then she paused, thinking it over a little more. "Okay, maybe a little. I mean, my father is the reason I went into politics."

Luke winced noticeably at that. "And did you take on any of his… bad qualities?"

She looked at him, waiting for him to meet her gaze before answering.

"I could argue that Bail had no 'bad' qualities." She began, trying to lighten the mood. "But those qualities only made his good ones better."

Luke looked down again. "What if…" he stopped, as thought he was uncertain if he should proceed.

Leia waited patiently, knowing Luke would speak when ready.

"What if a parent's bad qualities so outweigh the good one… err, _ones_, that the two are no longer distinguishable?" He finally asked. "And what does it make a child to come from such a person?"

Leia shifted, a little uncomfortable with the twist to the conversation.

"Luke, you cannot blame a child for the wrong doings of his parents." She said gently. "And as for the parent, well, what they do is on their own conscience."

Luke weighed her words, and finally lifted his head. He rested a hand on her shoulder, and pulled her into an embrace.

"Thank you Leia."

She pulled back. "Luke, what's going on? Why the mess?"

Luke glanced around, embarrassed. "I'm sorry about that, I will clean it up."

He rose, and as Leia stood too, she grabbed his arm softly but firmly.

"But why did you do it?" She pressed. "I've never seen you lose your temper like this."

He looked at her, and Leia suddenly noticed a difference to Luke's eyes. And to his face, she realized.

_He looks older… sadder._ Leia thought._ Most of his Farmboy cheer and charm are gone._

"Leia, I appreciate the help, and I apologize for the disruption… but I'm not ready just yet to talk about… all of it." Luke said imploringly. "I need some time."

Leia studied her friend.

"Are you going to need to take some time off?" She inquired fearfully.

Understanding her meaning, Luke shook his head, adamant. "No. We will get Han back, Leia. I promise."

She nodded, knowing Luke would never lie to her.

"Are you sure you don't want some help?" She asked, changing the subject.

"No, thank you." Luke assured her. "Goodnight Leia."


	2. Chapter 2 Acceptance

**Chapter two: Acceptance**

_**A/N**__: These next two chapters follow closely the events of Return of the Jedi, and are intended to fill in some of the gaps. It's my version of a more in-depth look into Luke's battle to come to terms with his lineage._

Luke slowly cleaned up his mess, his head substantially clearer. He had meant it when he'd said he didn't want help, because he needed time to process. Leia had hit a nerve when she'd told him that children were not necessarily marked simply because of their pedigree.

She may not have known just how profound a revelation that was to Luke. He sighed, grabbing a broom so he could sweep up the packing material.

_So if I am Darth Vader's son… does that make me inherently evil?_ Luke questioned inwardly. _Not according to Leia._

Luke caught himself smiling slightly. Somehow, Leia just knew what to say to him and when. It was like they had some kind of connection. Luke's thoughts once again caught up with him, and he paused.

_A connection with Leia? I love her, yes, but… somehow I don't think it's the same kind of love Han obviously feels for her._

He shook his head, focusing on his more pressing dilemma.

Firming his lips, Luke finished the clean up and sat down on the deck, taking up a meditative posture as he'd been shown by Master Yoda. He steadied his breathing, cleared his mind, and relaxed.

It was time to face this.

_You have not been acting like a Jedi._ Luke scolded himself mildly._ A Jedi would never have lost his temper like that. A Jedi is calm, focused… and in tune with the Force. _

Luke suddenly remembered something Vader had said to him on Bespin: "You are not a Jedi yet."

He sighed: yet another dilemma. Hind sight being what it was, Luke now knew that if he had indeed waited as Master Yoda had said, things would likely be very different right now. Had he waited until he was a full Jedi, he would have been more prepared to fight Vader…

_Except for that parting bit of knowledge._ Luke knew. _And who knows what would have happened to Leia and Han._

Luke squared his shoulders, and pushed those thoughts away.

"Always in motion is the future." Luke murmured, quoting Yoda.

The past was in the past, and no amount of self-berating would ever change what had happened. But Luke could do something about his own future.

Luke took a deep breath and relaxed again, realizing he had become tense. He pictured a hand gingerly reaching for the still surface of a pond, and utilized the visualization to help him use the Force. He reached deep inside his soul, and, touching the calm surface he used as a mask to show the outside world, Luke delved into the less tranquil waters that were his thoughts and feelings.

He found himself being swept away like a ragdoll in a set of white rapids, being rushed downstream against his will. Luke struggled for any type of handhold, struggling to keep from drowning in his own swirling emotions and thoughts.

Luke felt something urge him to relax his mind, and not try so hard. Mentally imagining that same ragdoll relaxing and trying to float instead of fight the current, Luke discovered that he was able to gain some headway.

He allowed the current to take him until he located the source of the disturbance. When he finally reached it, he found the image of Darth Vader waiting for him. Luke felt a lingering sense of distress, but forced it away.

He rose from the troubled current, squared his shoulders, and then walked right up to the figure of the Dark Lord.

"I am your Father, Luke." He heard the figure say, in an echo of a memory forged just a few days ago.

Luke cringed, and took a moment to regain his composure. The figure waited. Luke stared at him again.

"I am your Father, Luke." The Dark Lord repeated.

This time Luke cringed, but recovered much faster. Luke stood there, hearing those same words until he could look the Dark Lord in the eye. Luke stood there and listened to it a few more times, and finally spoke.

"I know."

This time, Luke had to steel himself against that knowledge.

_No, not steel, embrace._

Luke changed tactics, and, following a prompting from the Force, he allowed his acceptance to flow into his soul until it filled him.

"I am Luke Skywalker, son of Darth Vader." Luke stated, loud and clear in his mind's eye, standing tall and calm as he did.

He allowed the acceptance to flow for a moment longer, and then began to temper the flow, methodically herding it and shaping it into a little ball. Then, tucking the ball into the deepest, most recessed parts of his being, Luke built a wall around it to keep it hidden from all but himself.

_No one can know. Not even Han and Leia._ Luke thought as he exited his meditation. _They would… not understand._

Luke frowned then.

He accepted what, exactly, about his father?

Yes, he was Darth Vader, and yes, the black-clad figure was evil… but was he completely gone? If Anakin Skywalker had really died, and Darth Vader had taken over entirely, then the Dark Lord would have never allowed Luke to escape Bespin alive.

That realization slapped Luke in the face, causing him to gasp.

_He spared my life!_ Luke felt sudden warmth spread through him. _Anakin, not Vader, spared my life. He had me, he could have –should have- killed me… but he didn't. Anakin is still in there somewhere._

Luke knew that he still needed one final piece to his puzzle before he could completely embrace his lineage.

He would ask Master Yoda. And if the diminutive Master confirmed his Father's claim, Luke would fully acknowledge it.

**00000**

"Hey Luke, thanks." Han's voice said over his X-wing's communication system. "Thanks for coming after me."

Luke smiled.

"I owe you one!" Han finished, causing Luke to laugh.

Luke entered the coordinates to his destination, and Artoo-Detoo whistled at him. Luke checked his display, and acknowledged the droid's query.

"That's right Artoo; we're going to the Dagobah system." Luke said as he pulled a black glove over his right hand. "I have a promise to keep, to an old friend."

_And a very big question to ask my Master._ Luke added to himself.

Luke hit the hyperdrive lever, and stars stretched into starlines. Luke let out a breath, closing his eyes. He stretched out to the Force, marveling at how easy it seemed now; compared to when he had first began using it with Ben and Yoda.

Now that he understood how it worked, it flowed through him because he trustingly allowed it to.

He used the time between systems jumps to meditate, and to think.

If there was still a tiny part of Anakin Skywalker still inside the monster that Darth Vader had become, Luke was convinced that he had to give his father a chance to see it too.

_I have to try to bring him back. He deserves a chance…_

Luke's X-wing beeped at him, and he woke from his trance to bring his X-wing out of lightspeed.

A short time later, Luke sat inside Yoda's hut, listening to the aged Jedi Master's last words of wisdom.

_Just ask him. _Luke thought.

Taking a deep breath, Luke opened his mouth.

"Master Yoda…" Luke paused. "_Is_ Darth Vader my father?"

Yoda grew suspiciously silent.

"Rest, I need. Yes, rest." The Master said, turning away in his bed.

"Yoda, I must know." Luke pleaded.

Yoda let out a weary sigh. "Your father, he is."

Luke sat back slowly, taking that in. He took a deep, steadying breath.

_Then I must try to save him._

"Told you, did he?" Yoda said.

It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes." Luke answered.

Yoda shook his head.

Luke listened to the Jedi Master intently through his last lesson, feeling chastised by Yoda for rushing off to face Vader before he was ready.

_Because I wasn't ready._ Luke knew.

"Luke… Luke." Yoda gasped quietly. "There is… another… Sky…walker."

Luke felt tears come to his eyes as Yoda's breath left him, and the wizened Jedi Master's body faded into the Force.

Luke sat for a long time in the hut, thinking about two things: Vader, and…

"Another Skywalker?" Luke said aloud. "But who?"

For some reason, Leia came to mind, but Luke frowned at that. Leia was an Organa, not a Skywalker… or was she?

Luke made up his mind, and returned to his X-wing, suddenly feeling the full weight of his immense burden.

"I can't go on alone, Artoo." Luke said sullenly.

"Yoda will always be with you."

Luke saw Ben Kenobi's ghostly image appear, and he moved over. Luke asked him about the way he'd covered up the truth of his father. After Ben had explained his reasoning for the way he'd presented it to his pupil, Luke asked the question he'd had on his mind since Bespin.

"Ben, why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

Ben bowed his head for a moment, and then looked Luke in the eye.

"And if I had told you, what would you have done with that knowledge?" He asked pointedly.

Luke closed his eyes. He thought he knew the answer.

"I probably would have run straight to him." Luke said with a sigh. "And I would have either been killed, or drawn to the Dark Side."

Kenobi bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I did it to protect you."

"And I suppose you were protecting… Leia too?" Luke asked carefully.

Ben looked at him in surprise.

"Yoda spoke of another Skywalker." He explained.

"AH. The other Yoda was referring to is your twin sister." Ben said.

"Leia." Luke said firmly, trying to confirm what he already suspected.

"Your insight serves you well, Luke."


	3. Chapter 3 Forgiveness

**Chapter Three: Forgiveness**

_**A/N**__: This is my tweaked version of events, still closely following the Return of the Jedi plotline._

_How am I supposed to tell Leia?_ Luke asked as he watched her sitting contentedly beside Han Solo in the Ewok hut. _I can't wait to tell her that we are brother and sister, but the she will realize that we also share a certain father._

"Wonderful!" C3PO said cheerily. "We are now a part of the tribe!"

Ewoks all around erupted into loud cheering, jubilant singing and music playing. Luke took advantage of the massing throng to slip out the door. He walked a few paces away, and came to a perch on the walkway railing.

He felt Leia approach and smiled slightly.

_Always so perceptive._ He thought warmly, remembering how she had heard him calling out to her from beneath Cloud City.

"Luke, what's wrong?" She asked from behind him.

Luke turned. "Leia, do you remember ou… I mean, your mother?"

She gave him an odd look. "Back to parenting advice again, are we?"

He shrugged. "I told you I wasn't ready to talk about it before, but now…" He looked deep into her lovely brown eyes. "Please tell me about your birth mother, if you remember her."

Leia opened her mouth to speak, and then shut it again. "Luke, why are you so interested in my birth mother…" Luke saw something dawn on her. "And how did you know I was adopted?"

"Please, just tell me." Luke insisted earnestly.

Leia sighed, and sat beside him. "I only remember her face, and just barely. She was kind, beautiful, but… sad."

Luke closed his eyes as he tried to picture the image his sister had just produced. It was vague, but he now had something more than the emptiness he'd always had.

"Luke?"

He focused back on her, and only then realized she had asked him a question.

"Why are you asking me about my birth mother?" Leia repeated. "Does this have anything to do with what happened in that cargo-hold?"

Luke nodded. "Yes. Leia, I…"

He paused, not sure how to tell her. Finally he took her hands in his, and looked her in the eye.

"Leia, I have to face Vader."

"Why?" She asked in fear.

"Because… he's my father."

Leia was so shocked that she jerked back. "Your father is… is that…?" She sputtered, turning pale.

"I know." Luke said patiently. "Believe me; my initial reaction was about the same. But there's more… good news this time."

She waited silently.

"The Force is strong in my family. My father has it… I have it… and, my sister has it." Luke looked up to see her reaction.

She didn't disappoint. Her eyes lit with a comprehension he recognized, and he saw her smile shyly.

"I know… somehow. I guess I always have." She said quietly before she frowned.

"But Luke! How could…" Leia stopped, looked him in the eye, and knew. "That was why you asked me about the child becoming the parent. You're afraid of becoming him."

Luke nodded solemnly. "I am. But I am also sure that he is not completely evil."

Leia was slack-jawed. "How do you come to that conclusion?" She asked icily. And then her face went white again. "Wait… Vader is your father… we are siblings…"

Luke stood, and put his arms around her as she wobbled in disbelief. "I know, I know." He murmured to her.

"Luke, how can you say Vader is good?" Leia whispered. "After all the evil things he has done?"

"I have felt the good in him. And… he spared my life on Bespin. I didn't see it then, but I came to after a while." Luke replied. "Leia, I have to try."

Brother and sister held onto each other for a long time before Luke gently pulled away and kissed her cheek.

"I love you, sister." Luke whispered, and then turned away.

**00000**

"Father, please help me!" Luke cried through the blinding pain.

He writhed on the floor as Palpatine spewed a never-ending stream of Force-lightning into his already weakened body. He felt every cell in him cry out from the abuse, and he was powerless to stop it.

And just when Luke felt that he could hold on no longer, the assault abruptly ended. Luke had just enough strength to look up. He felt his eyes go wide at the sight of Darth Vader holding a screaming Emperor Palpatine over his head, lightning coursing though both men. Finally, with a huge burst of effort, Vader hurled the Emperor over the edge of the walkway.

Luke watched in rising horror as Vader almost followed. Luke used the Force to strengthen his body so he could reach his father and pull him away from the abyss. He fell back, holding onto his father.

They sat for a moment; the only sound that of the rebreather on Vader's armor.

_No, not Vader anymore: Anakin._

"Luke, are you alright?" Anakin wheezed.

"Yes, Father." Luke responded, sitting up. "But what about you?"

Anakin waved a dismissive hand. "I am far better off, Son. Thank you."

"No, thank you, Father. You saved my life." Luke answered.

"Luke…" Anakin began tentatively. "I don't have much time. Please forgive me for what I have done… to you, and… and to your sister."

Luke hugged his Father gently, a tear escaping his eye.

"I forgive you Father."

**00000**

In the darkness of Endor's night, and far away from all festivities, a lone figure stood watching a burning funeral pyre.

Luke allowed his tears to flow freely, watching as both the armor of Darth Vader and the body of Anakin Skywalker turned to ash, and then to nothing at all. The fire on the pyre reflected the pain he felt inside.

Luke had fought so hard, first to find his father, then to save him… only to lose him again in the end.

Luke was, once again, an orphan.

"At least I got to say good bye to you, Father." Luke said as the fire died out. "Which is more than I got with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru."

Luke closed his eyes.

"I will miss you, Father."

He made his way to the Ewok village where Leia, Han and the rest of his new family awaited, the one he'd built around him. Luke took to heart that he wasn't completely alone after all.

He wound his way up the trails and walkways until he spotted Han and Leia on the main village square. Leia spotted him coming and ran to meet him, throwing herself happily into his arms. Luke held her tightly, feeling their love flow.

He greeted Han warmly too, and then some of his other Alliance friends.

Finally Luke wandered to a quiet corner to take a quick breather, and spotted two glowing forms. He smiled at Yoda and Ben Kenobi, and they returned his affection in kind. Then, to Luke's delight, Anakin Skywalker appeared on Yoda's right.

Luke felt a loving caress from his father, and finally felt at peace.


End file.
